Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
They have beer where we have blood.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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