i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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