I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
