i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
