so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
