I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
