They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
