sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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