I murdered the dance floor call the cops
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
