yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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