Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
