My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
