shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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