Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize