all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
