Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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