sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
