1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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