I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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