in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
