Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
