you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
