Barsexuality is the new black.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize