they said they heard you say put it in my butt
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize