Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
