You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
