So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
