just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
