it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Houston, we have a blender
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
