I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
