Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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