White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
wow bdsm is so cute
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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