What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
A bitchslap is in order.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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