i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
the day after is always just damage control
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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