There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
