If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
