Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
