That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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