he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize