She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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