i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
