Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
