she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Couch. On fire.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
