At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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