If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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