She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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