oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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