Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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