Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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