why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
