do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
