if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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