just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You ruined the universe
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
