so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
