I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I currently don't understand fingers.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
