I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
