this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
