your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
