My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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