She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
