I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
