The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
