Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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