at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize