Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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