he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
