Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
