I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
