How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
