Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
