Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
