If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
