Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
